What Can Be Said?

Sometimes it's just hard to understand. Why did this happen? What good could come out of it?

My heart broke when I heard about the tragedy of Steven Curtis Chapman losing his five-year-old daughter from a freak accident. It's so unfair. It seems so untimely. Why did it have to be this way?

Then I got a phone call from a friend, a friend who I never get a phone call from. We were in J-group together my freshman year, a group that really helped make AO feel like home and that made the newness of college a lot more bearable. I loved those girls so much. And then I get a phone call from one of those girls today, telling me that one of the other beloved girls had a freak accident where her neck broke and she died. Just like that. It is completely unreal to me. I don't think it has sunk in. But the part of me that understands what has happened is asking, why her, and why now? She was young. She was still a newlywed. She had so much life left to live. Why, why, why?

I trust God. I know it's all in His plan. But sometimes, it's just so hard to understand. And when this sinks in for me and the tears start to flow, I am going to have to reconcile with that. But it's hard. It's hard because she just told me a few days ago congrats on my engagement, and that we needed to hang out. I'm not sure how long it's been since I've last seen her. Too long. I thought we had plenty of time to meet up. And now I won't be able to ever again. Not in this lifetime.

I remember her playing with my hair. I remember when she organized a trip for our group to go to the opera. We all dressed up in our prom dresses and had a blast. She curled my hair for the occasion. I remember riding in her car to the dollar store. I think we listened to boy band music. I wanted to go to her wedding, but did not get to. I wish I could have.

I have no good way to end this. Just please pray for Misty's family and husband. This is truly a tragic time. And please pray for the Chapmans. When people start dying, it scares me, because it always seems to come in bulk. I have this fear of who's next and how close will I be to them?

Every lament is a love song/ Yesterday, yesterday/ I still can't believe you're gone/Every lament is a love song/ Yesterday, yesterday/ So long my friend, so long.
-"Yesterdays" by Switchfoot