Slouching Towards Adulthood

After spending some time reading this ten-page article about twenty-somethings, I learned a little and also felt a little bit better knowing I'm not alone. At the very least, you should read the first couple of pages. But the main premise of this article is that it seems the twenty-somethings these days are not the responsible grown-ups that twenty-somethings were many years ago. Several factors play into this, like the economy, society's new norms to marry later and give birth, an increase in schooling because of an increase in technology, etc. "We’re in the thick of what one sociologist calls “the changing timetable for adulthood'," the article states, and, "Kids don’t shuffle along in unison on the road to maturity. They slouch toward adulthood at an uneven, highly individual pace." One psychologist, Jeffrey Arnett, is working to define the twenties as a distinct period in one's life, one after adolescence but before young adulthood; his term for this is "emerging adulthood." And I really think this guy could be onto something.

Now, let me say, I do think this is mostly true because our culture has created it. If you read the article, you will see how another psychologist argues that not everyone seems to need this emerging adulthood period. He cites there are plenty in their early twenties who are married, have jobs, have children, etc. and skip this stage that Arnett says is important. I get that; I know people like that. However, I think a few years of self-discovery or emergence is important for everyone, some may just achieve it earlier or they may put it off until later. And when I say self-discovery, I don't mean it quite the same way Arnett does. He almost seems to understand why kids do drugs and experiment with other crap. I don't feel that way. I also think you can go through this even if you are a young twenty-something who is married and employed. I just know that college did not prepare me for what came after. I don't want to make it sound like I'm making college a skapegoat for my own faults. Quite frankly, I felt I did everything right. I saved my money, worked hard in school, studied a subject I liked, and played by all the rules, and then WHAM - got smacked in the face from The Real World. And even my friends who are employed are not where they want to be. It's not always even that we don't know ourselves or know what we want. It's that we just can't seem to get there.

However, even though I do believe our culture is largely to blame for the twenty-somethings' putting off adulthood, I do think it's important to point out that universally, our brains are not even fully developed until 25. So... biologically, it makes sense that I'm still figuring life out. So... my life really isn't over because I don't have a career now. IT'S OK!!! (Emphasis added for my own benefit.) It's OK I have my doubts and confusion. It's naturally ingrained to have a little bit of this phase in us, I believe. It's normal.

The article talks about government intervention in different areas if adulthood is redefined. Other than some changes in current rules (like about age limits on being on your parents' insurance and such), I can't say I'm really into that idea. But it would be nice if, culturally, the twenties could be seen as a time where I'm still trying to figure out and someone would be OK with that and give me a chance. I don't know how this works. I don't have any answers after reading this article. But I am happy to see someone out there that realizes that the twenties is a different time period than the teens or the thirties, very different. Even though I am married, a homeowner, and it looks like I am on my way to being (temporarily) employed (more on that later if/when it develops), I definitely feel the growing pains of "emerging adulthood."

It is only proper for me to end this blog entry by posting a poem that I greatly enjoy and that shares the name of a term used in the article. It was written by a college student and published in Collage a few years ago.

"Slouching Towards Adulthood, Part I" by Stephen Trageser
Wanting to make a sandwich,
I reached for a new loaf of bread.
I discovered that beneath the
Still-virgin wrapper had grown a
Thin, blue layer of mold.
I recoiled in terror.
"Oh!" I cried, "We must mourn
The hands of the farmer.
The eyes of the trucker.
The back of the grocer.
All their souls ground to nothing.
For nothing comes of their labors.
Woe unto us, for in our slothfulness,
What horrors have we wrought?"
Mother reached for a knife,
And deftly removed the crust.
"Shut up and eat your sandwich."
Father poured the milk.