Written on January 7, 2008

I feel like I waste a lot of time.

I just sit around the house.

Doing absolutely nothing that adds value to anyone's life.

But what am I supposed to be doing exactly?

I honestly don't know.

Now I complain I have free time that I don't know what to do with, and soon I won't have any free time at all and be complaining about that.

Today I have been admiring the great photography of professionals.

Today I also thought back to what ol' MJ said about striving for a professional look when it came to creating videos, and not a prosumer.

But I feel like I will never achieve it.

I don't have any inspiration.

Or equipment.

Or any idea.

And college doesn't seem to be helping me much.

I don't know.

I guess I'll just get a job in marketing or something.

Or maybe just be a housewife and mother.

There's nothing wrong with that.

It's noble and great.

I want to be a great wife and mother.

But...

I don't know.

I suppose...

I guess I've just always hoped that I was made for something quite extraordinary...