The Final 2008 List: My Goals

I've spent a large part of my day traveling, and the rest of the day visiting with Grandma and then catching up with what's going on in the world.

(Is it sad that if I spend a day away from the Internet I feel like I've missed something? I'm really going to feel lost after my week-long honeymoon... but I think I'll get over it!)

But I digress...

So I really don't like New Year's resolutions. After trying them out for a few years I realized that what I was resolving to do on January 1 I put little thought into the rest of the year, and it was just worthless. So then I decided to set goals instead (because that's sooo different, right?). But these are relevant goals that actually apply to my actual life, not the life I hope to live (like the life where I love to run and do it everyday and get in shape). So my goals are technically resolutions I guess, but putting a new term to it makes it more relevant to me. I'm sure there's some psychological term to describe this, but I don't know what it is so now for the list of goals...

1. Create a short film I am proud of.
Considering that if I don't make a certain short film at all I will fail a class and thusly not graduate, at least the creating part has to happen, so one-half of my goal will be completed (I think I had this same goal last year... and I bumped it to this year... and I no longer have that luxury...). The proud part is where it gets tricky. I have zero motivation, zero money, zero settings/locations to shoot, zero help, zero actors, and about two and a half months to get this thing done. Uh... I'm trying not to think about it... expect I have to... SOON.

2. Find a job I like.
I don't have to love it, but I have to like it. Garrett has already assured me that he does not expect me to work, but I want to for the first few years of our marriage to help with our income and to save up some before kids come along. As if you didn't already know, the economy is not too hot right now. So, not only is it hard for my friend Graham, who graduated with an accounting degree, to get a job, but it will especially be hard for someone like me to get job. This is because I have no experience in my field, no interest in my field (anymore), and no experience in the field(s) I want to go into. Oh, and guess what the first thing businesses cut back on when times are tough? Marketing/advertising (one of the fields I wouldn't mind exploring). Thus furthering my dilemma.

Anyhow, I'm thinking about different options, and have a few things in mind that I think I would really enjoy doing, but I have no idea how realistic they are and I'm not getting too heavy into the searching until Goal #1 is at least mostly accomplished. And I'm also really trying to trust God. He dropped my current job into my lap, He dropped Garrett's current job and very-potential-after-graduation-job into his lap, and He can do it again.

3. Be a wise newlywed.
Obviously, I am not going to go into marriage knowing everything and am going to have a lot of surprises (both pleasant and unpleasant). I want to be open to learning now, and I aim to be discerning in my newly-wedded life after the honeymoon. It's easy for to picture all the wonderful things that come with marrying the guy I have loved for over four years, and not so much everything else. I have always tried to make it a practice in my life to seriously take the advice of others and learn from their mistakes. I hope I practice this is my life as a wife and not make too many mistakes, particularly ones that will end up hurting Garrett or hurting our marriage.

Last night (or actually early this morning, as we were driving home from New Year's festivities) I was talking to Garrett about how our marriage really was about the rest of our lives and divorce is not an option. I think he was kind of confused as to why I was bringing it up, assuring me he felt the same way. I told him I just had to emphasize it, after noticing the Facebook changes made on a profile of an old aquaintance; she had gotten married about a year ago, and appears to not be anymore. It just really made me sad and kind of stirred something inside of me, and since Garrett and I had barely discussed it, I had to make sure he was with me on it, even though I was 99.9999% sure he was. That would be one of the worst curveballs that could be thrown at me after marriage, him insisting on a divorce. To know he agrees that is not an option makes me know that no matter what curveballs we do face will be resolved, period.

Since the two big events in my life this year are graduating and getting married, I feel like that about covers it. There are other things, like I hope I maintain my 3.9 GPA at graduation so I can graduate Summa Cum Laude, but it's not as critical as goals 1-3. And really, goals 1 and 2 aren't all that relevent in the big picture of things, but they're important to me. At the end of 2009, I hope I can say I made the right decisions in my academic and career paths and that I had a great start to my new marriage.

For a quick reflection, I'll say 2008 was definitely better than 2007. I gained so much by way of friendships. My relationship with Garrett flourished, both before and after we got engaged. I feel like I'm inching closer to God, but my relationship really hasn't been the same with Him since my rough summer in 07. Academically, I'm a little disheartened by an unexpected B in one of my classes and by my lack of accomplishment in my film, and hope I can make a 180-degree turn this semester and excel on the project. I hope in 2009 I approach everyday like a new year, ready to accomplish what I need to and drawing closer to God.